Good old local university offers

The announcement of local university offers lately didn't feel very relevant to me. It's been 5 years and I've completed my degree, In fact my degree is one that currently lacks demand in this country -if u're talking about a freshly graduated dr- with the overcrowding of training hospitals. (the lack of specialists on the other hand is another completely different area for discussion)

Still upon reading and hearing of news reports about stpm students with 4.0 cgpa not getting an offer of their choice for popular (and cut throat pocket bleeding expensive) courses in the local universities, I felt for them. of course i could never fairly say that I fully truly understand and feel their frustration, but I sympathize. Especially if their family socio economic background doesn't allow them to pursue their dream in a private university.

Sure, life goes on. They all have to eventually accept the uni offer and will probably end up being successful in the field they study. sure it's not a big deal anymore to study medicine/pharmacy/dentistry. But that's not the point. It still matters to that individual who has worked hard to earn his/her spot. And this experience does bring along with it possibly deep emotional scars. Appeals don't bring results all the time, and in the end they're forced into a state of acceptance. I can only wish them all the best and that their wound will heal leaving no scars and that they will find passion in whatever area they pursue.

On another note, if anyone would ask for my opinion on whether to take the STPM, my answer is, take it only if u have absolutely no place to go and have got nothing to lose. bcz it seems nowadays that even getting a 4.0 doesn't really get u anywhere. if u can afford private education, then thr's not much point to take it. if u managed to enter matriculation, grab it with all your heart bcz that seems to be the only key to getting a course of your choice. local uni is afterall really really cheap and on top of that, it's easy to get a gov scholarship upon acceptance to a local uni. yups. just my 2 cents.

On a random note, been listening to TED talks on youtube, and there are a couple of them which I think is really awesome.
1. How your body language can change your confidence level. it's not a boring motivational talk. it's research based and thr's background story to it that's inspiring. :) Click here
2. Skyscrapers can be made of wood Click here
3. Max Jobrani the comedian Click here

And recently a group of malaysian musicians joined the Youtube community as 4JC -they're 4 brothers, all with inititals being JC. pretty good mash-ups to listen to. proud cz they're msian. :) Click here (Their youtube channel)

It's Not Really Farewell perhaps :)

Going back to Kuching tmr.

Leaving KL sure brings back memories from the first day I stepped into UKM 5 years ago. Transitions, exodus and growing up. And here I am, leaving this place I used to unwillingly call my second home but finally admitting it's my second home when it's time to leave. Yeps, I know this is just temporary. Time's gonna fly and I'll be back in either no time, or off to another place to call a third home.

My life group members gave me a surprise farewell of craziness today. When my grandbuddy accidentally bocor-ed about the surprise gathering, I thought, haha okay good I'll get to meet this cute bunch of ppl before I leave and I'll just act surprised. Lo behold, was I surprised (for real). 2 ppl multiplied into 6 - ching ching, ai jing, alisa, alain, jason and david. There were balloons??! a scroll tied with rafia string,

 a wild goose chase around midvalley. when I thought it was over, 2 more gifts popped up, alex and yim fong appeared, and william walked in the door. mind boggling mysteries. xP what more can I say? Thanks a million u guys!! xoxo. 

I entered first year as a Sunday christian and disliked long services and long hours in church. I didn't understand why there had to be so many meetings and cell group and so many activities. Hope church's a dynamic church with lots of training and outreach and you never run out of activities to go to. the group of brothers and sisters continued to follow up and care for me (thanks for not giving up on me) and eventually one day I realised I had been abandoning God, putting Him second, if not third or fourth in priority in my life. It took several downfalls to open my eyes and finally in my second year I came to capture the value of living life for Him. This group of brothers and sisters helped me grow, was there with me in the ups and downs, prayed for me, shared my joy and pain and watched me mature in my walk with God. I became a member in the church, started getting involved in LCD ministry, and got involved in life group planning. Got a sheep, involved in missions to Kuantan and earlier this year became a life group leader.

Today I leave Hope KL with a mission to support more life groups, join and support local churches through mission trips and to grow more in my understanding of God's word, improve my music skills and to equip myself in as many areas as I can before and as I enter the working world. The past 5 years have taught me to love and care for others as people have for me. Through their life examples, my leaders taught me true faith and selflessness. I stand in awe of their humility and love for God and His people.

Medical school was an adventure with it's ups and downs. More like a hilly ride of craziness. with a mixture of fun trips abroad, research, debate and elective :P I used to think I had only myself to depend on in tough situations. Trudging back to my room stressed, thinking of all the things i have yet to study, patients I have yet to cover, case reports I have yet to write. And later on I realised, no I'm not alone. God's there to lift me up, for me to depend on. The more I depended on God, the smoother things went. It definitely helped me stay calm and joyful in more circumstances. Thank you Lord.

I have made really awesome friends who have become my family here. I love you guys and girls to bits. You know who you are. beams. seriously where else am I to find people as lovable as you all. :)

I'm going home with lots of sweet memories packed up and stored in my reliable hard drive. A mixture of feelings and many happy thoughts, knowing that more adventures are in store. Till we meet again dearies. xoxo.

Starting first year with VC cup- the KTSN team

The UKM royals 2008 team

Celebrating my bday at Uncle Duck's steamboat in 1st year

 Getting 3rd place in EAMSC 2010, KL with hau wei, lip leong and juin yi.

Leaving the KTSN life group at the end of Year 2, off to Cheras HUKM

 Celebrating Chui Ung's bday in B9400 in 3rd year

 EAMSC 2011 in Bangkok. Earned first place for our paper on teenage pregnancy in Malaysia.

 One month elective in taiwan - the Taroko national park

 Visiting Jason's place in Puchong 

LaVazza at Viva Home, Cheras in 5th year

 Petrus's farewell in 2012

 Graduation dinner in 5th year after the finals

Debaters getaway to cameron after graduation.

There's so much I can't put everything into words. Cheers to more adventures!

It might be the end, but it's beautiful. :)

yups. this was coming. :P the sentimental reflective writing that's gonna come out when farewell's imminent. Before I start packing my bags, I have to do some justice to the amazing 5 yrs I've had by writing all these down. :)

Results were announced in the auditorium this morning. 226 of us made it! Freshly graduated Doctors from UKM. Just feel honoured to have shared the past 5 years with an amazing bunch of people. To be honest, I can't bring myself to pack my bags, knowing that things are never going to be the same from here. New chapter, new challenges, new friends. Darn, getting emotional writing this.

The past 5 yrs have been an adventurous ride. I can say I come out of it different, if not more solidified, mature and knowledgeable. (thank goodness lol, it'd be a disaster if i didn't)

1. Crazy friends who rock my world.
2. Inspiring lecturers. some really handsome ones. grins. and a Dean who rocks the guitar! Prof Raymond.... swoons......
3. Strategic and really comfortable air-conned Hospital UKM.
4. Cell group friends and my shepherds who keep me growing in my journey as a Christian.

How can I not miss that?

There're far too many memories of this place I've called home and with the family I have here. Definitely will be one of my best days in many years to come.

I love you UKM. I love you beloved batchmates, housemates. muah muah muah xoxoxo

Breathe in, breathe out. Time to start a new chapter of life. Gonna partay, kick off my shoes, scream my lungs out and take in the wonders of the world for the next 2 months, then, put on the white coat (germ free hopefully? :P) and badge that carries the responsibility of human lives for the many decades to come. After several years, I've dare say found my purpose in life. To serve God in the marketplace in the healthcare system. Looking forward to learn more and experience greater things. Working world, here I come. Fellow Doctors, I'm coming to join you all...! aiyyyeeeee! xD i mean, wheeee! i mean, Hi :) yes I am sensible. :P

In the meantime, I gotta figure out how to pack my things back to Kuching xP go home to vote! then enjoy a trip to Krabi and Cameron with some great company, and then head back home to spend time with the family. :) Thanks mum and dad.

Across Borders

this year's chinese new year celebration has been the most memorable for me thus far. might sound a tad naive to a working adult, but this is my honest account on my thoughts over the past few days.
the stereotype of doctors leading terrible lives, hvg countless working hours, lack of sleep has always been alive. i hear of it, feel it, smell it and my mind reeks of it. in the anticipation of joining the working force in just a few more months, i can't help but from time to time dread the thought of starting work. the negativity surrounding the whole thing makes me believe that it's going to be terrible for me.
now hearing from my friends who were back in kuching over the cny celeb, those working in engineering firms, the banking line, doing sales and marketing was really really refreshing. felt so amazed listening to their account of their day to day working life. dealing with events, products, people, clients, economy, shipping, millions to billions of ringgit each day. now, that, is what I call challenging. phewh. battling the ups and downs outside there in the corporate world. learning from experience. working on stg totally unrelated to the degree they studied. when I compare my job to doing that, I'm thinking, mine's a lot easier. i felt as if a chip of the coconut shell that has been faithfullly shading a huge portion of my life that revolves around the hospital and clinics being lifted. a small beam of light shining in, making me look up in awe. Man, these ppl are awesome. their jobs are interesting (and tough).
well yeah, no doubt i gotta study lots, sleep less, work round the clock. but i deal with patients. and they deal with kickass bosses and clients with crazy demands. different job requirement altogether. guess of course we're more comfortable with what we've been trained to expect when we walked down our respective pathways in tertiary education.
i came back from kuching this time feeling motivated. i didn't have to look too far for role models to get me going. they didn't have to be internationally renowned figures. they are my secondary school classmates who currently brave the corporate weather each day. darn... i'm so proud of u girls and guys. parting words from the classmate who dropped me off at my house last night: Bye Vin. Take care. Study hard. :P she said it half jokingly. but it did for a moment spur that motivation in me to study hard n get it going in the last lap of my race in this undergraduate course, finals being just 2 months away.
maybe it sounds ridiculously simple. but it evoked a special feeling in me. i wana work hard to make them proud of me too. hehee.

photos taken frm leen and pauline. :P Jacq's place, stealing shots drg the wedding reception, the bridegroom and his bride.

A classmate, Sheryl got married on V day to Jarred, who's from the States. lovely. wish them both much happiness and future blessings. cross cultural marriages are always beautiful (with a hint of curiosity) :P

2012 at a glance

With the many pretty good movies out this season :D I think I owe it to the amazing directors to commend on their works! 

The Hobbit was breathtaking, beautiful and heart warming. the tale which was spun with the essence of friendship, trust and courage was captured with a brilliant mix of bird eye's views of mesmerizing landscapes to zoomed in details of a tiny bird, melancholic moments to adrenaline pumping battle scenes. it's the amazing LOTR all over again. :)

Les Miserables left me with swollen eyes. It's a beautiful musical that will touch you: it redefines love and brings you back to historical moments of revolution, how the oppressed fought for freedom and their rights in a bloody battle, sticking to their principles to their last breath. 

Life of Pi lets you revisit the life of a plucky teenager who went through an enchanting experience. i really enjoyed the humour. for a first time acting on screen, this guy's really talented. 

CZ12 was very entertaining. it's a mixture of slapstick humour, Jackie Chan fighting scenes and technology showcasing the value of treasuring national relics.   

yay to good movies. :P

Coming back, I don't seem to remember the beginning of 2012 quite clearly. :P Vaguely rmb helping to run the Bioethics Symposium then.... exams (no i dont rmb much about the exams hehe) then collecting data over the holidays for a research project. (Owh n i think this was when i discovered some of the works of WongFu Productions on Youtube and went absolutely nuts watching all their videos lol xP)

Had the longest 6 week break back in Kuching for the first time :D very happy....

Then off to Hong Kong! :D (I thank my parents for the sponsorship) met a new friend from the trip and experienced some Disney magic sitting in front of the castle watching the fireworks. :)

Kissed mum goodbye, got back to school, finished off data collection. Harrowing weeks of calling patients and tracking case files, analysing data (over n over again after multiple mistakes), tabulating, literature review, grinding, squeezing out a manuscript for submission. And... it's done.. *relief... appreciation to all team members and our supervisor :) the research seminar went quite smoothly and at the end of the day, we could breathe yet another huge sigh of relief. kicked off those shoes, and celebrated the night away! :P

Other than a few defining events, 2012 was a year where experiences built up my character, challenged me to ponder upon and decide on a future direction, set my priorities right with some emotional drama thrown in the middle -of which a great save was made by girl friend advice that I am very thankful for. ahaha.

I learnt about the essence of forgiveness. To right my wrongs and from there, experience a lifting of burden so relieving that it's tear inducing -or i'm just drop dead emotional. hehe. vice versa, learning that God enables me to forgive people when i put it down before Him and ask Him to help me with it. 

I saw how leaders, brothers and sisters love without limit, sacrificing sleep, time and energy to build up those around them. Life examples of true love. Travelling tirelessly across state borders to support missions and to be there in person for a brother or sister in need. Fervently sharing their life experiences: how God touched them, His word, His leading and encouraging me to do the same. 

With professional exam coming up in April, graduation a hand's reach away -after passing the exam that is (please pass xu vin please), there comes major transition into working life and a government posting that will decide on my course -the location at least- for the next 2 years of housemanship training. it'll be goodbye to the familiarity of the place and people built over the past 5 years (wow that's like the same duration of my sec sch life). i'm not at that point of time yet, but the anticipation of it is all pretty scary. ok shud probably put that aside first. :P 

I wana thank my parents for continuously supporting me, loving me unconditionally

My shepherd Alisa and the brothers and sisters who have impacted my life deeply each in their own way

The extraordinary friends -you know who you are :) - who're always there for me regardless the circumstances

All of you who have added colour and essence in my life through your words, actions and thoughtfulness. 

A few of the memorable 2012 s :P 

Meeting up high school friends over cny :)

The dear ppl who journeyed through ssm with me.

Deepavali visiting at Sugan's

Visiting Jason's place in Puchong

Going north to celebrate Xu Yee's wedding.

And definitely many more photos to rmb the year by. :P 

I have much to be thankful for. With the many crazies going on in the world today- war, disasters, manslaughter - we dream of peace, joy and love to surround us daily. It's great to aim for the stars, to reach high up, but in the process, we all still want and need an ounce of humanity at the very least, to carry us through. 

ok ignore wad's on Kevin's tshirt lol xP

Weekend Off

It's the end of the week! it's a convocation weekend. was running around getting flowers yesterday for the ppl who have helped me pull through the last 4 years of med school. very happy feeling to see seniors graduate. 1 year ago it was seeing the 2 years of seniors graduate, and thinking about how scary it would be being in final year. but here i am already in it. time flies. at the current moment, would say, it's kinda nice being in final year. not that blur, more trustworthy, able to make sound decisions. all that with still being a student where there're still holidays to kick off the shoes and just chillax in the room or go out shopping or for a movie once in a while :)

my cousin in taiwan got married over this weekend as well. wish i was able to fly to Sibu to witness the ceremony. but flights to Sibu were pricey.. :( this dear cousin is very special to me. very awesome guy with a huge heart. the last time i went to taiwan for my elective posting, it was like my 1st time meeting him n getting to know him. he was so crazily hospitable! n in the midst of his oncalls, being a busy peadiatric registrar, lack of sleep n all, he insisted on driving us around on 3 hour long journeys to tour taipei, jiufen etc. n didnt let us pay for anything. wows. n when my parents went over to taiwan for a week long tour few months back, he used up a day of his leave to bring them around. n we found out that dr.s in taiwan only get like TWO days of leave in a year. WOaw. wow to his hospitality and wow to the crazy working life of drs in taiwan. why do kids in taiwan still wana be drs??? haha ok same question i ask myself now. xP

went to this place called Citrus in Bangsar Village II to celebrate kevin's bday. n mine as well. hehe. show stealer. i'd recommend it. :P it's got a fusion between western n local. i ordered Chicken Tikka R--- apologies. cant rmb the last word. it's got the minty Indian sauce -again apologies for inaccurate description xD with mango salsa with grilled chicken. yums. not oily, great blend of flavours. :D

Mooncake fest was over few weeks back. ok to be more accurate, many many weeks back. Crazy lots of flavours in the market now. :P got to try some nice ones.

Convocation! that time of the year. My senior buddy ee see, now a Dr. Chen. :D beams.

 The buddy line of 2nd year to the graduated senior. :)

Life saving LG with dear siaw khing @ Dr. Sia :)

n now, on to Family Medicine posting. clinics clinics clinics! :)

n i owe myself a shopping escapade. hehe.

The Child In Me

I'm not pregnant.

Excuse the pun :P

Being thrown into a world or rather a ward of kids lets you act like a kid. :P

it's part of the reason I enjoyed the past 7 weeks in Peads. getting in touch with your childhood memories - don't rmb many details, but i rmb they were happy days. bits and pieces i recall are playing lego, hopscotch, rubber band skipping ropes and dancing rock n roll in a kindi graduation concert. (i seriously still dunno if that was a dream or for real cz i cant remember practising for it. a life mystery that will remain unsolved) 

I forgot how smart kids were. totally underestimated the intelligence of 6 year olds. I couldnt remember being that smart last time. we went to organise a Road Safety programme for the kids in one of the kindergartens in town yesterday and the kids like got all the answers correct. maybe kids today are smarter. xD

photo by Khai Pin

It also lets you dwell into the world of parents from different backgrounds with children with different conditions. 

The working parent who has to take nearly a week off work to stay in the hospital with her child with pneumonia

The parent in the state of shock after witnessing her child fitting

The parent who's willing to share her life experience in caring for her child with cerebral palsy

The parent who took a month off her job to transfer from JB to KL, staying in the hosp for that entire month bcz her child needed a surgery here. 

The hostile parent who doesn't let you lay a finger on her child - okla not hostile. protective may be a more accurate word. hehe. 

The parent who's poverty stricken and cannot afford to feed her child --> malnutrition

The parent who's a foreigner and can't afford to pay the costly medical fees for his child's serious medical illness.

The parent with social problems that affects her parenting ability.

The parent who's child was fine for the past 11 years but one fine day became paralysed and bed bound.

The abandon child from the orphanage who's development is delayed.

The unsuspecting parent whose child came in with joint pain and is devastated by the child's diagnosis of leukemia.

Other than the medical aspect, there're different issues to be dealt with in each case to ensure the child goes home safe and well. Treating the children came together with taking care of their parents and their environment.

Makes me reflect on all the sacrifices my parents made for me in the past. and even up to now. aww thanks mum and dad! :)

Kids in the ward get loads of gifts drg the bulan Ramadan before Raya, including this Tickle Me Elmo! (borrowed it for phototaking. but honestly, was really tempted to secretly bring one back home xP)

I mentioned about being captured by children innocence on facebook yesterday after the trip to the kindergarten. Darn! Those kids are so cute! 

When you ask, who wants to volunteer to come up sing a song? 

you get, Me Me Me!!! Pick me!!!

So i wondered where all the enthusiasm and liveliness in me dissipated to over the past 23 years of my life. :P there will be no place other than the kindergarten and maybe lower primary school where you'll witness this kind of enthusiasm in humans. at least that's what i think. 

when you ask, who's got a red car at home? a black car? a white car?

They run up to you and tell you, 'I got a black and red car.' Next child,'Mine is purple and white.' 'I got a motorcycle at home.' like with eagerness and happiness when you tell them Ooooh that's great! 

*omg so cute can die* *squeee*

And you can tell them anything and they'll believe you. grins...

though of course there are tough times when irritable children refuse to let you go near them and cry the minute they see you approaching. *faints*

wana get in touch with ur childhood days? visit a kindergarten one day. :P (though I did not think I could survive working in a kindergarten more than a day. too much energy needed)

Some toy vehicles we made for the kids for a road traffic simulation. credits to Khai Pin the man behind the cars.

Dropped by for Jalan Ampang's Yong Tau Fu after an exciting but energy draining session with the kids. 

My peads posting groupmates -1 person missing- and our lecturer Dr Juriza. a very patient and super awesome Dr. i love her sense of humour.

Managed to catch Cher and Mar-jie over the weekend before going home. :)

And run home for a week during the last Raya break. great time catching up with the family and friends. :)

Meanwhile, stress levels are mounting with unfinished studying from peads and the coming ObsGyn posting. gotta remember to stop acting like a kid from now. aww man... hello to chronic adrenaline rush!!

Teluk Intan

Clear traffic, kopitiam within 5 minutes drive, largest mall being the Giant supermart.

It's a sweet sweet place called Teluk Intan where I was posted at for the past 2 weeks in the Peads Dept. 

Things that I found really warm and beautiful in this small town was the obvious slow down in the pace of life,  cars driving on the roads at leisurely pace, very approachable people and doctors who care about the patients social needs. 

we were asking a random uncle at a kopitiam we were eating at on places to go for nice chinese food around town. he didnt just give us directions. he walked my friend out to the street to show him the direction. and a friendly lady at a drinks stall at the hawker centre chatted with us about Ice Age and how she really enjoyed the hillarious cartoon and showed us the way to the cinema. 

it's a really homely feel. i think even back in kuching now these kind of friendly conversations with random people in kopitiams are deficient. 

didnt forget to stop by for some Teluk Intan Chee Cheong Fun, get some Heong Peng (some kinda caramelised puff) and snap a photo in front of the leaning tower. :P 

Parents here are very willing to talk to us medical students and allow their child to be examined. and the specialists are very willing to teach and are nice and approachable. The environment is great and no doubt the lack of entertainment makes it a good place to settle down and hit the books. 

I'm missing that place already. Back in KL, time to hit the wards here!

Group photo from the previous ppd camp. privileged to get a very nice and approachable facillitator, Dr. Kong Wei Yen. 

The 1st hour of camp. Anticipating internet withdrawal symptoms for the next few days in camp cz no reception found in the jungle.

In teluk intan with my dear roomie, Michelle :D In front of the leaning tower.

The leaning tower in its majesty :P (it doesnt look like it's leaning from this angle tho hehe)

It's a Learning Curve.

It just crossed my mind how the term Learning Curve came about. (thanks for the correction juin yi :P) its an uphill journey, steeper for some, more gradual for the rest, and I'd say mine was just somewhere in between. but probably more of a gradual progressing to steep curve instead of a steep then plateau curve.

our 1 year research project has come to an end. this might sound like my ppd reflective writing haha, but well yeah i did really pick up a lot throughout the 1 year.

I'd learn to work with and grow with a group of coursemates whom i had never had the chance to really work with closely before. Every person was different. every past group work was different. this was the group that bonded through humour and had a strong spirit of give and take. not calculative, accepting and forgiving to my weaknesses and intermittent blur-ness. i admit i wasn't the best of a leader, there are times i procrastinated, gave them last minute notices, made mistakes. but they were accomodating. in the same way, i learnt to give and take, to love ppl for their strengths and weaknesses.

I used to be individualistic in completing work or projects. I relied a lot on myself. But this was one project i couldn't do on my own. it required a lot of labour. telephone interviews, tracing blood profiles, etc. hvg group mates spurred more motivation. n bcz i was the leader, i was forced to make decisions and set targets for the group. some to the point of procrastination xP, but got it done.

last but not least was God's grace. when things looked impossible, unexpected favours enabled us. when things were going fine, or so we thought, we were able to meet the statistician, discover mistakes in our data analysis and make corrections at quite the last hour.

there were ups and downs. but i'm glad we made it. :) most of all, I gotta thank our supervisor Prof Shahrir for the guidance throughout.

our dear poster, Jeans, me, Nashrah and Hafiz

MUASRM's abstract book. an awesome design to infinity :) by kevin tan

the abstract

Looking forward to starting the postings! Gonna begin with Peads! (after a week of camp in the jungle devoid of internet connection and phone line woots) :P

Ending 2011!

Wonderful week with holiday frostings on the sides. :P had a greaaaaat! Christmas wkend after ending the peadiatrics exam and simply looking fwd to this long wkend again after the 1st week of orthopedics. *beams*

to date i've thought of some new year resolutions. 1 of which was inspired by Carmen when we were just talking about doctors and specialists in hospitals. i've always had a problem of inferiority complex when i'm in the hospital. 

- it starts in 3rd year when u enter the hospital and ppl tell u that as a 3rd year medical student, ur position in the hierachy is equivalent to 1 being in a bottomless pit and you have no worth that microorganisms surpass u. lol. they tell u that no1 cares about u, u block the way in ward rounds, u ask stupid questions etc. u get the idea. 

- n there's always a fear of offending some1 important (by important the definition varies) and having urself being blackmailed / fail in exams or being kicked out of medical school bcz its simply so easy to do that. as in, bcz medical knowledge is so vast, u can be asked simply anything under the sun in exams and if the examiner wants to fail you, its so easy to find reasons to do so. 

- and bcz it's impossible to study everything and unfortunately i don't really have good retention of knowledge, i feel really inferior to senior dr.s who shoot questions at me and i can't answer and generally i feel really dumb. 

so... yeah. omg this has turned into a rant. i'll keep in short.

in short, a way to keep ur self esteem leveled and to not be talked down to is, to talk to ppl at the same level in the first place. if u talk up to ppl, they sense u feel inferior, and they tend to talk down to you. making u feel even more inferior. 

conclusion: Talk at the same level to ur superiors. 

i tried it out. and boy, does it work. not to the extent that i suddenly magically command respect from superiors xD but it helps me stay confident. and i have less fear. having confidence is sth really important to stay sane and happy in medical school. and perhaps later in life and in any other fields of course. *beams* thanks Carmen. 

so that was new year resolution no.1. :D to stay confident. 

new year resolution no.2 goes into spending more time to develop myself spiritually. 

no.3 goes into no i gave up on the 'i will lose weight' resolution cz it never works. xD

so no.3 goes into hmm ok i'm stumped. this shall come later. :P

awesome Christmas weekend with my church youth. recently we just launched our new NGO, called My3K (no not at all linked to 1Malaysia or any gov propaganda hehe). the NGO works on giving free public health screening - esp to rural areas, mobile clinic style in collaboration with the National Kidney Foundation & National Glaucoma Society and to be a medium for the depressed/single mothers/pregnant teenagers to obtain help. so here we are in our centre in Setapak. :) a group photo of the volunteers after the health screening.

organised a Christmas party with Alain, Mei Mei, Alisa and Siaw Khing.

and got to meet up with Cher! :D

orthopedics has been pretty interesting. i dreaded the thought of bones and metal stuffs at 1st but its more interesting than i thought. hehe! tho there's the constant dread of having to wake up in the wee hours of the morning (groans....) to cover beds for ward rounds..

ward rounds can be an interesting time for observation. among our topics of discussion (betwn just the medical students la xD): who's better looking? ; did that dr. wear the same shirt as yesterday?; my gawsh all these dr.s are so HUGE (tall / huge biceps / strong looking) - in between the proper discussion which goes on among the dr.s. heeh.

another long wkend! yay! orthopedic surgeons are generally very nice and easy going. the only part is their high probability of postponing or cancelling classes with u last minute when they get whisked off to emergency operations.. which is of course no1's fault but bcz of the surgeon's commitment to his job n the patients. strike 3 in just today itself: 1 lcd projector refused to work in a 7.15am class, and 2 other surgeons cancelled class after a 1 hour wait. sobs. 

ok. enough ranting. :D all the best in coming up with awesome new year resolutions!

Wkend of much worth

this weekend of sorts has been most fulfilling.
after finishing my mini clinical exam in the eye clinic, we set off to meet some of our seniors who were most dear to us who have just graduated. it was pretty fun seeing them throw their graduation hats and all. :P nice to catch up a bit but we didnt stay long.

went to the VC cup tournament in Bangi which was being held for the 1st years. it had been really long since i set foot in debate training or any meet up, 1 whole year to be exact. i have to thank kevin, john and prethivan for asking me to go to this tournament. i previously felt it would be awkward for me to reappear, but it wasnt like that. in fact, it was rather warm. and i had a good time meeting debate friends whom i have not met for such a long time. i'd missed them. a lot. the non sensical jokes, chatter, rounds of group board games and sharing life with one another, the intensity of debates requiring one to think quick, analyse and have adequate common sense and general knowledge. the positive stress and adrenaline rush wasnt in the picture this time round though because we were just there as adjudicators. the 1st years were the ones going through the real stress. :P it was really pleasant to adjudicate rounds, give structured oral adjudication and feedback on debate rounds with the 1st years. i had nearly forgotten how it was like being a debater. this experience of course doesnt sum everything up, it was just a little taste of it that flooded back warm memories and gave me some self worth or so called morale boost i thought i had lost in my ability to provide input in the club. anw, i had a really enjoyable time and i'm proud of the 2nd year trainers (and huge gratitude to dinosaurs too of course) and the 1st years who made it through the tournament. Yay to KTSN winning the VC Cup this year. :D cheers! the heart still has a special spot for ktsn, the place i grew the most. =)

in the midst of the hype of graduations and debate, a precious life was lost. heard the news of a student who took his own life by jumping from a hospital building in his hometown few days ago. it was a manifestation of a chronic psychiatric disorder. he had debated in last year's vc cup and had joined my church shortly last year. for those who knew him, do pray for his family members that they may have peace and rest in the grieve of losing their son.

had a warm fellowship with my life group members.
had a pleasant early birthday song surprise from the debaters. and a card of indescribable awesomeness. :D
had an impactful sunday service.
got an adorable sheep.

looking forward to anaesthetics posting tmr. canulla setting challenge ahead! :P

Lessons

i learnt two important lessons today.

1. you might think that the person you dislike is the worst, most egoistic, sexist, most horrible person you have met ever. but that person ends up teaching you something important.

speaking from a very very recent experience. i disliked certain authorities. to the point i had to stop myself from rolling my eyes every time i had a glimpse of the person. i thought he was evil, arrogant, annoying, well you get my point. but his nature of putting excessive sarcasm and mental torture into his speech made me learn something that was pretty important today that i think i will remember for the rest of my life. lol. i still do not really like him now, but the level of resentment has dived far down.

so think about it. your foes make you a better person. deep down, i know that a reason i dislike him is also my own problem of self ego. heheh. :P

2. a friend quoted her dad's words to me. And this is what he said.

"If someone brags about himself to you, he has all the right to do so because in fact, he IS better than you."

Many ppl might disagree. but when you think about it, it's true. and the only way you can make the other person stop bragging is to work harder and become better than him.

It's a form of motivation. even though not in the nicest way. hehe.

So.... don't hate your enemies. love them for how they build you up and make you a better person. :)

1 week of Raya holidays coming! Selamat Hari Raya to my Muslim friends! and as the holidays start, The Mugging Returns.. i am going to miss ent posting very much. Have never met so many awesome friendly amazing teachers of doctors. :D

end of posting

Had my last class in Psychiatry today. Had a pleasant surprise :D

Got an adorable funny bunny bookmark from Dr Hazli for answering a question non-really-but-close-to-correctly. XD

For some weird reason I felt inclined to say Meow when looking at its adorable face.

For another weird reason the bunny doesn't have a tail.

?

Had an interesting 8 weeks in Psychiatry with Prof Hamid. All psychiatrists are super nice, patient, pleasant and did i mention, nice? grins.

It's the end of posting! Heading back to Kuching on sunday night. for a week.

After that Hello Ear Nose Throat, Eyes, Anesthetics! :D

The Unspoken

Language. By far the most essential tool for communication, to express thoughts, get what you need, get what you want, spread love, care, peace , provoke, poke fun, create parodies, in short, sth we cant do without.

the main ingredient needed in that recipe of communication is:

Being able to understand each other.

Not the deep understanding of feelings and all, but basically just simply understanding what the other person is saying.

In other words, i just had a language barrier crisis this morning.

Felt extremely helpless talking (if you call that talking) to an elderly Chinese lady who could only speak Cantonese (the full blown fluent Cantonese). she could understand a bit of Mandarin thank goodness. She was in the psychiatric ward on a wheelchair and i wanted to talk to her to ask her how she was doing, what brought her there, if she was ok. and basically to just be an ear for her in case she was lonely.

the outcome:

i solemnly vow to BUCK UP MY FREAKING CANTONESE AND HOKKIEN!!

poor aunty was lamenting her concerns and worries (i think) and all i could do was to nod my head, smile, show concerned and emphatic looks and make agreeing sounds (Mmm) and ask her about herself in mandarin in when i thought were the appropriate times.

ARGH! i could just slap myself for not actively learning up those dialects in my whole previous clinical year.

it's still not too late i guess.

Plans:

1. Force my friends to speak cantonese to me.

2. Download important cantonese and hokkien phrases from the net.

Anymore ideas? :P