Wkend of much worth

this weekend of sorts has been most fulfilling.
after finishing my mini clinical exam in the eye clinic, we set off to meet some of our seniors who were most dear to us who have just graduated. it was pretty fun seeing them throw their graduation hats and all. :P nice to catch up a bit but we didnt stay long.

went to the VC cup tournament in Bangi which was being held for the 1st years. it had been really long since i set foot in debate training or any meet up, 1 whole year to be exact. i have to thank kevin, john and prethivan for asking me to go to this tournament. i previously felt it would be awkward for me to reappear, but it wasnt like that. in fact, it was rather warm. and i had a good time meeting debate friends whom i have not met for such a long time. i'd missed them. a lot. the non sensical jokes, chatter, rounds of group board games and sharing life with one another, the intensity of debates requiring one to think quick, analyse and have adequate common sense and general knowledge. the positive stress and adrenaline rush wasnt in the picture this time round though because we were just there as adjudicators. the 1st years were the ones going through the real stress. :P it was really pleasant to adjudicate rounds, give structured oral adjudication and feedback on debate rounds with the 1st years. i had nearly forgotten how it was like being a debater. this experience of course doesnt sum everything up, it was just a little taste of it that flooded back warm memories and gave me some self worth or so called morale boost i thought i had lost in my ability to provide input in the club. anw, i had a really enjoyable time and i'm proud of the 2nd year trainers (and huge gratitude to dinosaurs too of course) and the 1st years who made it through the tournament. Yay to KTSN winning the VC Cup this year. :D cheers! the heart still has a special spot for ktsn, the place i grew the most. =)

in the midst of the hype of graduations and debate, a precious life was lost. heard the news of a student who took his own life by jumping from a hospital building in his hometown few days ago. it was a manifestation of a chronic psychiatric disorder. he had debated in last year's vc cup and had joined my church shortly last year. for those who knew him, do pray for his family members that they may have peace and rest in the grieve of losing their son.

had a warm fellowship with my life group members.
had a pleasant early birthday song surprise from the debaters. and a card of indescribable awesomeness. :D
had an impactful sunday service.
got an adorable sheep.

looking forward to anaesthetics posting tmr. canulla setting challenge ahead! :P

Merdeka

It was just a few days ago that I rmbed saying 'Owh! I didnt realise National Day's next week!' nah. just another day. most of us probably lost the sense of excitement for National Day since our primary sch days (for me at least). in primary sch, it was the excitement of having a school holiday, switching on and sitting in front of the tv the entire morning, watching as the prime minister and DYMM YDP Agong arrive, seeing the grandiosity of the whole occasion with smartly dressed troops standing in attention, etc.. and my favourite part: the parade and the coloured smoke jets :D

well now, the excitement has definitely diminished if not disappeared. the celebration is seen as a superficial cover over many many issues thrown ard in the political scene, and most ppl dont feel the pride of freedom from foreign rule our leaders achieved 54 years ago anymore.

my church had a Merdeka special service yesterday morning. this video was being shown. i guess videos have a way of illustrating and bringing u back to the moment in time, thousands of times better than pictures or words alone. If you have not clicked on the video to watch it, watch it first. :)

as i sat watching the documentary, still in black and white, seeing the stadium bursting with Malaysians of all races, seeing the Union Jack being brought down, Tunku Abdul Rahman leading the multitude of ppl declaring 'Merdeka!' echoed by thousands and thousands of proud, united Malaysians, i felt a pang of pride. mixed with a little guilt for taking many things for granted in this country. You could just imagine yourself being one of them dressing ur best and marching off to the stadium that morning with a whole throng of ppl u probably didnt know, but as u walked along, u smiled at each other because deep down, u shared sth in common.

As I stood up to sing the National Anthem, I wondered, when was the last time I stood up to sing the National Anthem with all my heart.

This might seem naive and idealistic to some of you, but deep down, you know that you're a proud Malaysian, and there is no other place in the world besides here, that you can truly call home.

It's time we count our blessings and pray for this country. :)

Lessons

i learnt two important lessons today.

1. you might think that the person you dislike is the worst, most egoistic, sexist, most horrible person you have met ever. but that person ends up teaching you something important.

speaking from a very very recent experience. i disliked certain authorities. to the point i had to stop myself from rolling my eyes every time i had a glimpse of the person. i thought he was evil, arrogant, annoying, well you get my point. but his nature of putting excessive sarcasm and mental torture into his speech made me learn something that was pretty important today that i think i will remember for the rest of my life. lol. i still do not really like him now, but the level of resentment has dived far down.

so think about it. your foes make you a better person. deep down, i know that a reason i dislike him is also my own problem of self ego. heheh. :P

2. a friend quoted her dad's words to me. And this is what he said.

"If someone brags about himself to you, he has all the right to do so because in fact, he IS better than you."

Many ppl might disagree. but when you think about it, it's true. and the only way you can make the other person stop bragging is to work harder and become better than him.

It's a form of motivation. even though not in the nicest way. hehe.

So.... don't hate your enemies. love them for how they build you up and make you a better person. :)

1 week of Raya holidays coming! Selamat Hari Raya to my Muslim friends! and as the holidays start, The Mugging Returns.. i am going to miss ent posting very much. Have never met so many awesome friendly amazing teachers of doctors. :D

Stressed. Very Much.

Stressed. It is an understatement.

The mind filled with it.

The air reeking with it.

The timetable staring back at me screams of it.

Adrenaline pumping because of it. Reserves emptying fast.

If I were at the seaside I would love to give a good loud scream to let it all out and not have people around me thinking I was mad.

Oh God help me.

as series of tales unfold

the reason people indulge so much in tv shows, esp tv series is because it brings them into a world of unreality. it takes them from reality, aka their problems, work, decisions, and let them put their hope into sth that has an ending as the tales unfold series after series. no one likes to watch the Last episode of the season because it leaves you with a question mark, an unfinished end, Or, it brings you back to life, hits you in the face saying, now get back to reality. face that mount of assignment you need to finish, the monday blues at work every week, the tense relationship you have with that colleague, the harrowing deadlines and demands that need to be fulfilled. a parallel to a syndrome faced by many at the end of a long holiday. fun under the sun replaced with the furl of the world.

oh no maybe its not everyone. just those who get addicted to tv series and when you finish that last episode you get a horrible withdrawal. but you got to admit that everyone needs their share and dose of daydreams and charming fantasies in wonderland at times. not to the point of literally living in it and developing delusions of course.

how do you soften the bump when one lands from a high leap from dreamworld back onto soil? the impulse tells us to watch another set of tv series. the leveled head tells us to open the books and start prepping for what is to come. guilt sets in. fear builds in. the worker takes a hesitant step towards the tractor. the step multiplies. momentum sets in. shuffles turn into strides. the tractor starts running. as soil is churned, seeds are sown, plants watered, flowers bloom, it hits. reality in itself is and can be beautiful too. uh... uh.... put those tv series away....

i wonder if the above made sense to anyone.

Awe

Who would

Spend the entire night trimming coconut tree leaves with a knife to get the middle portion we call 'Lidi' for my boat house model art project in form2.

Search shops for double layered crepe paper and puppet eyes for my doll art project.

For my rocket project in form4, cruise around town looking for shops selling bicycle pump needles cz i kept breaking each of them, buy a brand new silicon gun and a huge bottle of silicon from the hardware store, find tons of plastic bottles for me to trial and error, drive to the nearby park early in the morning with a tank of water and metal measuring tape to test run the plastic water rocket.

Scour bushes, trees, grass, any area with plants u name it for locusts / bugs for my form6 biology project / lab work.

Drive all the way to the bookstore to photocopy a few pages of pictures i needed for class the next day js bcz i was last minute in primary sch.

Spend the entire day scouring through Airline magazines for pictures of leaves and plants cz i needed super a lot of them for my artwork collage in pri4. (thr wasnt Google back then)

Drive and accompany me to the Tugu Pahlawan (the 1 in kch at the museum park) to take like just 5 photos and to the museum to look for catalogues on Fort Margheritta for my history project in form1.

Pack lunch and drive all the way to school when i had around the clock band practice. Wait in the car in agony when practices end late.

Search like crazy for a particular caterpillar stuffed toy i crazily wanted in malls when i was a kid cz at that time the tv was advertising them like no1's business. (Blame the tv)

Walk to the nearby discount store and back to surprise me with a stuffed toy i wanted so badly that i went ballistic (lol) even tho it costed quite a bomb. okay i was in pri4 that time n i still have that stuffed toy til today.

Patiently teach me to ride a bicycle by taking the trouble to make me a 3-wheel bicycle by removing 1 trainer wheel so that i had a backup trainer wheel lol.

Buy me princessy dresses in kindergarten.

Rush me to the hospital for stitches when i swung on the clothes line support bar like a monkey, flew and hit my chin on the ground in pri3.

my gosh even reading this is tiring.

I wouldn't have been able to do all that for a single person.

But mum and dad did.

Wow. realise i was quite a ma fan kid.. sheepish grin.

the brass band

as if i wasnt torn enough, blogspot had to erase my entire blog post about me emo-ing about missing the finals of the world marching band competition which was just 500m away from me in a stadium opposite the hospital where i'm staying. it was going on every night for the entire week but i didnt know. sobs. :S

to cut the whole illustration short, it brought back reminiscence from the past. days of playing in the symphonic brass band back in secondary sch. the tingling sensation, the little shock waves that run through your body as you play in sync, instruments coming together to create rhythm, tunes, music, life. the majesty of a fanfare, the serenity of a sentimental tune, the upbeat pop song, things that just make u wana tap ur feet, nod ur head, sway or sing in ur heart (since u cant sing out loud with a mouthpiece at your lips :P) the wave of the conductress' baton (Laura!) , the drum roll that commands instrument up, the adrenaline surge as the song reaches its climax or as all instruments blast in the finale.

awesome feeling. :D

hope to be able to catch next year's one then. *Hopeful*