Blessings

today seemed like a day filled with blessings i wish it could go on n on (haha kiasu).

minus the 1st 2 lectures whr the 1st 1 told me i need 2 go back n study as in realllyyyy study (heheh) and the 2nd 1 telling me that Medicine n Society is going 2 make Sem2 a looooonnnggg 1, it was fulfilling.

i tot i'd hav lousy results 2 spur me 2 work harder in sem 2. now i hav not-lousy results 2 give me pressure 2 live up 2 expectations (self n non-self) 2 also spur me 2 work harder in sem 2. lol.. bt at least no hypocrisy involved. hehe.

i definitely did not achieve wad i did in sem1 myself. just as i did not win VC cup or survived 3 tournaments myself. bcz i had the most awesome God n cool angels of family n friends who helped me all along the way. :)

i want thank:
- my God for showing me He's there with me.
- family for their prayers n support. for not giving me any pressure even tho i keep telling them i'm going into medical sch not 2 top but 2 survive.
- friends for all the help n prayers.
- debate teammates who put up w me thru study week 2gether n helped me so so much thru the group study, answering random ques, giving lectures haha, stressing out 2gether. it reli helps knowing thr r also ppl who're going thru it w me.
- wei wei for being the best roommate ever.
- all friends who helped me survive 1st sem. - pbl mates, lab partners, coursemates, basically every1 hehe.

i love u all!!!! thank you thank you thank you!!

i also had a great shopping so-called spree (lol i reli had a so called spree i just shopped n shopped n bought grins...) at 1U w Elaine, Kah Yan, Sze Ying, Min Jie. christmas decor at 1U is great! :P i had the best lunch ever in this week, i mean, best meal ever (cz i had 2 hav dinner at hostel's cafe this week) bCZ! i get 2 eat it straight from the wok! :D i mean, the cafe never serves its meals in woks. EXACTLY. lol.
(picture Manhattan Fish Market- tho no, i did not hav lunch thr hehe) - blame blogger. i wanted 2 put up photos bt it just doesnt allow me to!! -

so dat closes my chapter for 1st sem.

i granted myself a truly enjoyable break today. haha. so tmr, pia study!!!!!! fuyoh. no more chillax-ing! LOL.
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shortcomings

my posts will basically be a bit dry bcz blogger hates me. haha. 4 sum reason i cant upload any photos here.

bt ANywayy..

life has bn good. lol. minus the fact that:
- results for sem 1 isnt out yet. i tink i will barely pass with Cs. yargh must study harder this sem... (n what am i doing here muahaaha)
- lectures everyday r piling like mad. each 1 hr lecture= 3 chapters of bio i used 2 hav.
- i am a lazy easily distracted loser. NOOOO..... no no i cant admit i'm 1. i'm not a loser. i just prefer not 2 bag the winning glory. :D
- i feel like going home everytime sum1 mentions about going home 4 hols. argh cant wait 4 cny..
- i want 2 play squash..
- i hav not bn reli studying despite the fact that i stare at Marks n Lippincott every nite.

in short:
- i am happy bcz -i'm going shopping tmr
- bcz thr's a whole load of breaks like the lonnnngggg Christmas wkend plus new yr break!
- bt i stil need 2 study so that i dun end up getting 2.00 flat in 2nd sem. eheh.

despite the fact that thr's 90% of a chance i will get 3.00 flat or below.... n i shud be thankful n get on w life n study harder 4 next sem, i tink i will stil be disappointed if i get a 3.00. hypocrite! haha.

2nd sem

bcz i am so sick of trying 2 upload photos into my proper blog post, i gave up n just published it w/o the photos. it has bn the 10th time at least i tried publishing w photos n the error thing pops up. give up!!!! ARGH. ok nvm lol.

its the 1st day of new sem.

it started off pretty well.

i accepted n gratefully looked 4wd 2 new pbl sessions w diff ppl. i walked into intro of new sem w enthusiasm. things looked reli fine. things sounded reli interesting. ppl n frens were back n it was good.

n then. at the end of the day, i found out yet again my pbl changed. ok. change of mood. a little i guess.

n then. whn i reached back in kt i tot, its not so bad afterall.

n then. now. i'm here. n i was suppose 2 be looking 4wd 2 studying metabolism n refresh the Crab cycle n glycolysis i learnt in f6. n i just feel so so sick of... of... i dunno. just a sinking feeling of sth i hav no idea y. its the 1st day of 2nd sem n i'm feeling moody?? sth wrong w me sth wrong w me.. groans..

miss home no doubt. but that isnt the reason.

i. just. cant. wait. 2. get back my studying spirit again.

ok studyyy.......

A Journey of 6 months a thousand miles away

Contrary to the saying a journey of a thousand miles begins w a single step, I dun tink KL is reli a thousand miles apart from Kuching, but bcz I'm stubborn I won't admit it isn't.

I finally hav the time 2 sit down n comtemplate on past misgivings, the things I've done wrong, the ppl I've hurt, I just wan2 say sorry bcz I always mean what I say, bilif me, the sarcasm was intended and saying its sarcasm was just an excuse. HAha jk.

This is the season to be jolly, for the many many reasons besides the fact that Christmas is coming, I'm stil on hols, AND tmr is the start of Human Rights Debate(HRD) which I'm actually suppose 2 be reading up on the issues n stuff right now n not blog.

1. Accomodation
   

• Rmb I talked about how the termites came to visit me 1 fine day n took portions of my books back s souvenirs? HAH the termite busters came to terminate them during my study break. However, come to tink of it, since they sprayed my whole shelf with termicide (whatever u call it) I'm even worse off now cz I din feel like using the shelf anymore for my food stock OR risk putting my books back n hav termites taking free souvenirs from me again. (super Msian termites)
  
• N another rather interesting fact was how my room literally bcame a jungle or cave in a tropical rainforest bcz after the ppl came 2 kill the termites, it rained heavily the next day's afternn n tadah!
  
• ROOF LEAKING
  

  But tinking bout it, God was telling me that, if I could survive termites and roof leakage in the midst of study break n exam week, I can survive anything else. WHOOPEE! (but that doesn't mean I wan 2 hav 2 survive anything else more drastic ok)
  

  
  

1. People
   

• Those I met but has left
  

  1^st, Mar-jie. 2^nd , Wye Li. 3^rd, Bunny, not cz she left UKM but cz she left for home for HOLS like 2 or 3 wks before my exam, n wil stil hav hols 2 or 3 weeks after my 2^nd sem starts.. the world is round!! (as oppose 2 fair n square) bt since I dun hav 2 take pprs like Bhasa Inggeris or hav lectures in malay medium, or hv class from 8am-5pm everday, I dun hav the right 2 complain.. Right? (Bunny is taking Pharmacy.) I miss those who left. God bless them. MJ even turned up during NHSD!!!!! :D :D :D
  

• Those I met bt wil be leaving
  

  This applies 2 seniors who're in near graduating yrs!!!! N dinosaurs (as the debate ppl term those who've graduated) who tirelessly come back 2 train this bunch of juniors.
  

• Those I met and will be my comrades for the next 5 yrs
  

  Really amazing, cool, funny ppl. My roommate who puts up w my mess (which reminds me that I hav not swept the floor heh heh), my floormates who lend me their baldi-baldi sekalian during tropical rainforest season, my PBL mates who put up w my nonsense and lousy chairing – I noe that u guys just let me b chair 2 save my face la wahahha, my batchmates who're a cool bunch of ppl who dun sideline me even tho I'm a hopeless banana (I stil insist on learning canton wahahha)
  

• Lecturers
  

  Many of whom we salute n respect for their knowledge and ability 2 force us 2 study by telling us formative assessment results will be taken into account in future. NOOOOO…….. *mock horror*
  

• Church friends and leaders
  

  Who has given me endless support n strengthening my faith in God n 4 putting up w this less committed individual.. eheh..
  

1. Debate
   

• Sth that has bcome such a big part of my life here. Thx Cher Linn! Thx Lee Fang! I was here in the 1^st place bcz of these 2 ppl, n bcz I was looking for avenues n ppl 2 justify my lack of oral communication (n laughter) during Minggu Mesra Pelajar (cz I can't translate sarcasm lol).
  
• Training -à English Speaking Zone Debate à Vice Chansellor Cup à slack slack slack train sumtimes read sumtimes decided that we're not superhumans 2 go 4 royals during exam week àdebate training camp à sum1 started the idea of going 2 royals in the midst of exam, contemplating its feasibility à suddenly all 5 kiasu ppl joined royals à studied like MAD drg 4^th module àKL ppl staying in KTSN drg study wk bcz of debate (Haha) àexam week whr major pprs r over à went 4 ROYALS! :P à sat for OSPE/OSCE my practical ppr à rushed back 2 watch seniors in finals! :P à training for 1.5 days for 13 motions for NHSD à NHSD (Kevin n Pau got top 10 best speakers WOOHOO!) à got sick à spreaded my disease to John, Kok Joo, Qian Yi, training for Human Rights Debate à I recovered, but I tink the rest have not, 100% eheh.. , n here I am!
  
• Basically I love the nature of debate, the analysis involved, the ppl whom I reli shudnt just regard as ppl, but rather as reli good friends, whom u can count on, who share ur passion and above all hav a great sense of humour, bt also twisted minds. Haha. Some 2 a higher extent naturally. Lol.
  

1. Exam
   

• Its whn u're at the last straw of reading anymore Genetics or Chromosomal Diseases that suddenly there's a knock on the door and Voila! Prisca appears w a Gummy Bear delivery from my 2^nd yr buddy, Ee See. That defining moment contributed to 10% of things-that-made-sense that I wrote in my answer sheet in Genetics paper the next day. Grins. This Gummy Worm looks like a chromosome. (sorry I am such a nerd I cant come up w anyting better 2 say)
  
• It's whn the weather is so against u (haha) that u just get so fed up, n whn tropical rainforest conditions worsens, or whn things get reli membosankan that Wei Wei was there for me to crack lame jokes n laugh together about a person singing 5 times a day, or when friends come knocking on the door that enlightens atmosphere.
  
• It's whn u're driven 2 finish studying certain topics, bcz u noe during lunch n dinner u're going 2 spend time discussing debate stuff. (actually in the end not 100% was spent on debate stuff hahahahhah.) that at 11.30am or 6.30pm u get a msg that tells u how inviting the smart café is compared to st*p*d McDonald tables.
  
• It's whn in the middle of the night, u get 2 bug a friend n complain n just say how the world is against u cz u cant finish studying not cz u're stupid bt bcz the scientists discovered too many irrelevant stuff n force us 2 study them 2 boost their egos.
  
• N finally, its whn the major pprs r over, n I go online from Kah Yan's room telling the world on msn that I dunit 2 study anymore knowing for a fact I stil got OSPE/OSCE on coming tues, n PPD the next day wahahah.. n finding out in NUS, the welfare committee gives out cincau n mango pudding 2 the hostelites during study wk.
  

1. Quality of education
   

• It's great. :P See, we even had Dr. M to give 1 of the demonstrations in HUKM (Karyotyping thingee in Pathology n UMBI) n bcz there's only 1 of him, n so many of us, evry1 damn kiasu 2 get his autograph. So short ppl dun get 2 see wad's going on in front. Lol.
  

  
  

1. Holidays
   

• Being a thousand miles away (yeah I still insist it's a thousand miles muahhaha) makes the heart grow fonder of home. Seriously. I would hav cried if I got unimas n hav 2 spend the rest of my uni life, working life, wadever old life in kch, kch, kch, maybe get transferred 2 betong, then back 2 kch, kch, kch. Ok yeah point made. Hehe. So even though I'm in kl, the fact that I complain about not being able 2 go home whenever I want, bla bla bla, the fact is, I stil love studying here. Hehe.
  
• N whn I get 2 go home, time is so so precious!
  
• But whn I dun get 2 go home, or choose not to, I hav awesome ppl here 2 accompany me. Heh heh. Sorry ppl, u hav 2 put up w me whenever I dun go home drg hols muahahha. Thx everyone thx thx thx! :P
  
• For now, my mission is 2 visit Malacca, Johor, Ipoh. Or else, getting ppl 2 come 2 Kch! :D very ambitious plans 4 next hols lol. Which I tink, wil also be filled w debate stuff.. ehehe.. *can imagine roommate fainting at the word debate again wahahaha*
  

So yups. Basically explains my journey. Which has yet 2 end. HRD!! Petaling Street!! :D (I'm now staying at Hotel Malaya, Petaling Street for HRD) Food paradise! :P

concurrently.

major pprs over! MWAHAHAAH.

ok. not reli.

there's stil OSPE/OSCE (lab n clinical) on coming tues.

n ppd (a ppr that is equivalent 2 moral in english) tmr.

bt 4 now, its considered, OVER!!

pprs were tough.

bt shall not dwell on dat. heheh.

debate dis wkend. YIKES! meeting brendan! hahah.

i promise 2 post a better post the next round. hahha.

JUst, a little thought

formative was over this morning, hence the blogging. :P

expectations

societal stigma

societal acceptance

religion and well being

holidays :P

haha i'm sign posting! lol.

on how much to expect or to ask of myself. i've bn thru this question so many times since i set my foot here. n i found out eventually many others shared the same dilemma. but again n again God reminded me of how He provided for me in the times i nvr expected 2 succeed, or when He gave me exactly what i asked for, even when i did not come seeking for Him, when i left Him out of the picture n took things in my own hands, well yeah suffered certain consequences, but prevailed in the end. Praise the Lord! the blessings to count in life! the little things that He provided for me thru friends who cared and shared my joy and pain. (i am being very vague here about what blessings and what joy and pain and what friends cz i guess there're just too many to list n i'm shy.. lolz) so i guess its ok 2 contemplate but in the end, just go with the flow, have faith and trust that He will provide. :)

on societal stigma. priorities in life. sumhow Asian society measures excellence through a barrage of As, certs, high level academic performance, which is well yeah true, it does measure ur intelligence worth, but to what extent? n is our life worth a mere measurement of intellectual prowess. n when we seek to strive for excellence which counts more. priorities, priorities. this is whr diff individuals set out for diff things in life. some seek for spiritual development, some for acad excellence and the ambitious for ALL.. and that, is whr some ppl go bonkers cz they cant manage, or succeed and gain eternal satisfaction and sailormoon power!! ok sori that was random lol. i mean, and triumph in the end bcz they were courageous enough to challenge status quo (right term? ok nvm who cares) stick on to what they set out for, and triumph :P

societal acceptance. just a brief thought of the cascade effect of peer pressure. nope nothing to do w debate. peer pressure is afterall, in my own understanding, sth believed in or practised by a majority of ur peers to be able to cast on a significant influence on u to lead u or get u integrated into their set of beliefs and practices s well. it has pros and cons as we all know so perfectly well. but well not succumbing to peer pressure sure isnt easy. cz we Asians love to follow the crowd.. follow the crowd.. go pasar malam bak-kua.. grins.

on religion. religion was, and shud be, what lay down my set of values n principles in life as well as being a propagation for me towards achieving life fulfilment. i stil need spiritual development.. to be honest.

holidays! on a much much lighter note here, the thought of home, my family, the warmth of cny visiting and cafe chit chatting fills the cerebral cortex on n off. hehe. well cant help it cz nearly every1's exams seem to be ending or has ended... n the next time i'll be back is cny.

for the moment in chronology, study break, exams, debate, shopping, start of new sem! (shamelessly include shopping b4 start of new sem lolz)
with bits n pieces of laughter, fun, stress, more laughter and contemplations in between. :P

God bless you all. :D

just had coffee for breakfast. a feeble attempt 2 caffeine-supersonic-boost my state of awake-ness these few days. hehe.

finals is in 1.5 wks.

debate comp is on the sat (after my mon-fri pprs) n after dat i fly back (not literally) frm UIA to sit for my OSPE (practical) ppr on tues. my initial goal 2 go comp n try win sth or sth well yeah sth lol, has turned into, a plan 2 go thr, just hav a go n gain experience. i tink God is trying 2 reduce my ego or pressure or... i dunno wad.

anw i have 2 days including today 2 finish up revision for my 4th module. it IS feasible.. but i hav 2 stop thinking bout redundant matters n just study n bilif in myself. wow i'm writing this without any tinge of sarcasm or humour..

i've almost abandoned facebook for now. lol.

n i tot i wudnt be blogging til after finals or mybe til sem 2 starts but i'm here.... hehe..

just need 2 let it out in penned words.

thank God for fellow debaters at least i got crazy comrades going thru the crazy idea w me. or else i surely chickene out redi or wud NVR hav tot of going thru the idea in the 1st place.

i shud just have more trust n faith. in myself. n in God.

study xu vin!!!!!